like doe-eyed Bambi...

So today I bawled my eyes out watching Bambi... I was super sick of watching the same little movies with Adelyn, my niece. Lately we have been watching Monster's Inc., Megamind, Tangled, Cars... Don't get me wrong, they are all pretty great movies, but I was not in the mood to watch them for the umteenth time! So I picked one of my favorite childhood movies. Turns out this movie is actually so sad. EVEN MORE SAD THAN I THOUGHT! Not only does poor Bambi's momma die in a tragic hunting scenario, but those bastard murderous freaks also shoot at anything that moves throughout the whole movie! I'm super against hunting in the first place... I personally think it is sick and wrong that people get their jollies out of killing poor animals. It's one thing if you live out in the boonies and to hunt is to survive, keep you warm at night. Nah, no problem with hunting the big guy for nourishment. But can I just say something? Okay, here I go.
If you go out shooting, bashing, whatever, for fun, shooting birds, little creatures, etc, because its (and I am using this word again,) because it is fun, YOU HAVE A SERIOUS PROBLEM AND ARE GOING TO BE A SERIAL KILLER FREAK WHEN YOU GROW UP! that is all. In fact, on a side note, I once had a crush on this boy when I was in high school, and then I found out that he goes "bunny bashing" with his bastard friends. CRUSH OVER! That is so disgusting. For those of you who don't know, bunnies actually scream, they SCREAM, and cry and you can hear them right before they get "bashed" with the golf club, or bat, or whatever other sick instrument is being used. This is what gets these losers excited? Wow, you are sexy...? Not. So repulsive. Have fun being in an abusive relationship with those "hotties," ladies.
ANYWAY...
In Bambi stupid hunters not only shoot at everything, but they have like a thousand nasty dogs that supposedly hunt for the hunter, taking down the beast and hurting it before the guy can show up and kill it, leave their camp fire unattended and burn down the forest!? What is that?! Poor Bambi gets shot. GETS SHOT and is laying there for quite a while... and this is where I got really upset... no hunter ever shows up to put him out of his misery, strap him to the hood of his jeep, NOTHING! So Bambi survives, which is happy. He fathers some twin fawns with his foxy doe eyed girlfriend, Faline.
All is well that ends well? Well, all of those little animals still had to completely relocate from their woodland home to keep from getting murdered or fried crispy. So sad.

While I am on my tree hugging rant and movie representation of such things, I recommend Ferngully. When I was little, this movie was literally one of my favorites. I just liked all the little fairies! I had no idea it was a complete hippy go free free, let's save the rain forest movie! Anyway, it really is a good movie. It also shows how man has taken over what we were put on this earth to "coexist" with. In peace and harmony, unit and be one with the earth. Not bend it over and make it be what we want it to be...

And that is all I have to say about that, I think. Now, go plant a tree or pick up some garbage... Recycle that water bottle, dude.

~miss Rae

"You should be kissed, and often, and by someone who knows how!" ~ Gone With the Wind

That's why everyone needs lips so much, for lips are the only things that touch. ~Enchanted
  Can I kiss you? ~Cody
I've waited my whole life to be kissed. ~Little Women 
 Friends are the only thing a girl needs, besides a closet full of clothes and a cute boy to kiss. ~Paris Hilton
 I love the silence, that brief, beautiful silence between every kiss. 
The best kind of kiss is the unexpected, unplanned ones that come naturally. Like, in the middle of a sentence...
A kiss is something you cannot take without giving. 
Shut up and kiss me!
 Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.  ~Albert Einstein
 Is not a kiss the very autograph of love? ~Henry Fink
 Soul meets soul on lover's lips. ~Percy Bysshe Shelley
 Stolen kisses require an accomplice.
  Kisses are a better fate than wisdom ~e.e. cummings. 
Twas not my lips you kissed, but my soul. ~Judy Garland
 A kiss without a hug is a flower without a fragrance. ~Proverb
 Then I did the simplest thing in the world. I leaned down... and kissed him. And the world cracked open. ~Agnes de Mille
 I ran up the door, opened the stairs, said my pajamas and put on my prayers - turned off my bed, tumbled into my light, and all because he kissed me good-night! 
Each kiss, a heart-quake ~Lord Byron
Her lips on his could tell him better than all of her stumbling words. ~Margaret Mitchell
A man's kiss is his signature. ~May West 
Touch not thy lip such scorn, for it was made for kissing, lady, not for such contempt. ~William Shakespeare 
When I kiss you, I can taste your soul. ~Carrie Latet
The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space. ~Marilyn Monroe

So kiss, and be kissed. Marie Leavitt once said, "You can't just pass them out like lollipops." I said to her, "Yes, but everyone needs a little lolly every now and then."
infinite X's and O's,
~ miss Rae                                                                        

sick

" 'I cannot go to school today,'Said little Peggy Ann McKay.'I have the measles and the mumps, A gash, a rash and purple bumps.My mouth is wet, my throat is dry, I'm going blind in my right eye.My tonsils are as big as rocks, I've counted sixteen chicken poxAnd there's one more-that's seventeen, And don't you think my face looks green? My leg is cut-my eyes are blue-It might be instamatic flu.I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke, I'm sure that my left leg is broke-My hip hurts when I move my chin, My belly button's caving in, My back is wrenched, my ankle's sprained, My 'pendix pains each time it rains.My nose is cold, my toes are numb.I have a sliver in my thumb.My neck is stiff, my voice is weak, I hardly whisper when I speak.My tongue is filling up my mouth, I think my hair is falling out.My elbow's bent, my spine ain't straight, My temperature is one-o-eight.My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear, There is a hole inside my ear.I have a hangnail, and my heart is-what? What's that? What's that you say? You say today is...Saturday? G'bye, I'm going out to play!' " ~Shel Silverstein  I wish I was faking it. Tonsillitis is like Gorilla Tape. It doesn't mess around! My mom used to read me the Shel Silverstein poem books, A Light in the Attic, Falling Up, Where the Sidewalk Ends... I love his work. His poem, "Sick" was always one of my favorites.... Well, my tonsils are, in fact, as big as rocks, and I need to become horizontal, again, pronto.  ~miss Rae

Karma

You know, I really need to get a hold of this Karma chick, she is really starting to put me through it... What did I ever even do, huh? Clearly, there has been a huge misunderstanding. How about lunch, eh Karma? Do you like lunch? A nice sit down, so I can explain myself.

Can I just get ONE break? Just one.

It all sort of bubbled over today when I didn't get ready or dressed. When I don't get ready, I automatically feel crappy. Hey, I'm a woman, it's natural. I am an emotional wreck. Though, I hear they make pills for that... As if the past few months haven't been outstandingly psychotic enough, and the past couple of days have been tricky as my mom is not doing so well. Now, this evening, when we finally checked the mail, I received a letter from SUU saying that I was not in good standing this semester. That I am, therefore, suspended for the next two semesters... Awesome, SUU. A whole year. Thank you so much for understanding? Not. I am going to be calling them tomorrow to tell them just exactly how I feel and just exactly what I think about the whole thing. NOT TO MENTION, World, I feel a cold coming on.

Just ONE break? Please? 

In other news...

There was a peacock in my backyard the other day... Random for a small city in Southern Utah? I'd say so.

My niece was super cute about it. "Jojo! Look at that peepop!" I guess that solves the "Kevin" mystery. For as long as I have lived in this house, whenever I would go into my backyard, I would hear this crazy loud squawking! I decided it could be a lot of things. Living in a small town, you never know what shenanigans people are in to. If you have ever seen the movie Up, it sounds EXACTLY like that exotic bird, Kevin. Thinking back on it, I cannot believe I never guessed peacock... Except the part about living in Utah... Not exactly our state bird. Pheasants, Eagles, Hawks, sometimes Canadian Geese... But peacocks? Anyway, it was fun, and a lovely surprise visitor while we were eating our PB&J.

I would write more, but this thing is starting to freak out, causing me to freak out... I hope your day is going much better than mine!

~ miss Rae

Screw me once, shame on you!

Dear State Bank of Southern Utah,
     You suck.
                      Regrettably yours,  
                                     miss Rae

What are the odds that a young college student like me would win a court case against a lousy state bank? Sadly, probably slim. There is no such thing as justice anymore. The big guys always win. I am SICK OF IT!
It all started with one mistake. A mistake made by the bank, mind you. A mistake that I , that's right, I have to pay for? Yep. To the tune of five hundred dollars. I tried being civil. I tried being a smart ass. Both of which were squashed by the big man. Like holy crap, dude, you are a STATE BANK! Not even! Only in the BOTTOM HALF OF THE DAMN STATE!
I have played your little game long enough. It is time for me to stand up for what's right! Nothing about this "mistake" was my fault, nor should a nineteen year old girl who completely relies on the government for her education, have to pay for it! Your piece of crap bank is insured for a reason. So stop. STOP sending me notices. STOP being a greedy little twat and take some responsibility!

I'm angry, World. Seething! This whole "kicking the habit" thing is really not looking so appealing right this second. Like yeah, I know it is horrible, but at a time like this, I promise, it doesn't feel that way. Sorry. Don't worry, I won't give in. I'm just saying...

If you happen to work for this bank, or know someone who does, I am just being honest.

~ miss Rae

What does that even mean?

an eye for an eye.
An eye for an eye... A tooth for a bloody tooth... As in, if someone crashes their car into mine, it is my right to total their new BMW? I'd say no. People may or may not ever get what they "deserve," if there is such a thing. Who am I to say how a person should or should not be punished? I am nobody.
forgive and forget.
A beautiful thought. But is it realistic? Of course it is in the case of a small argument, or spilled milk. What if, though, it is impossible. I have heard of people who have gone through terrible things. There was a couple who had a small child who was raped and murdered by a disgusting scum of the earth. At a hearing, they told the man that they forgave him! I find even the thought impossible. They may have found forgiveness in their hearts, but I know for a fact they will never forget the man, what he did, who he stole from them...
Sometimes, for me, it is very difficult to forgive the littlest of things. Though, my heart is currently fighting a war within itself. A war between love and forgiveness. I find myself neither able to forgive or forget, but still feel a great deal of love. At least I think it is love. Definitely not lust.
Perhaps it is best not to forget. That is what I have decided. Peace and love! But, we must not ever ever forget. It is our experiences that make us stronger, right?

~ miss Rae

it's Friday, folks.

At this very moment, I am sitting on my mother's bed, (Dad's side,) texting three fun kids, and listening to the sounds of sleep produced deep breathing by miss Adelyn Raelli (RAY-LEE) and my mom, along with Anne of Green Gables on the TV. That movie is so very charming. A garden rake? only 75 cents. 20 pounds of brown sugar? only $1.00... A big deal scholarship that everyone dreams of? Only $250 per year... That would buy what today? Pay for one class? One maybe 2 text books? Oh the simple life... Enough of Anne.

This week has been extremely and overly relaxing. Being back at home is lovely, don't get me wrong, but I feel extremely lazy. The good news is, I'm all caught up on Glee! Though, I am behind on my One Tree Hill... That will be remedied soon, I believe, at the rate I'm going... Unfortunately.

guess what?! I'm going vegan. I'm excited! It's going to be tricky giving up cheese because it is just so tasty, but it is for the best. There is nothing healthy about eating dead food. live, raw plants, grains, nuts, fruit is where it's at!

Friends are the absolute best.  They are full of surprises. Sometimes good ones, and sometimes bad, but always an adventure. The best is when old friends come out of the wood work. I got a letter from a friend just yesterday that made my whole week. *You know who you are, and I will be writing you back asap.
This summer may just be amazing! I definitely have a lot of goals, issues, and things that I am going to be working on. Life changes! Change, my friends, is good.

Now, I need to go make myself a plan for this evening. Have a great night!

~ miss Rae