out of my mind.

No matter how much I want it or how bad I try, I can't seem to get you out of my mind. Last night I had a dream. Just a little blip, I guess. Just a thought. You said hello to me. It was a dream though.
I hate you for what you did to me. I hate you for the things you said. I hate that I always felt guilty.
I hate that your kisses still haunt me. That I still crave the way you looked into my eyes. You loved me. You did. I loved you too. Sometimes love is just a beautiful idea. It stirs up all kinds of emotions. The kind that haunt your love and make it shaky. We weren't ready to find each other. Or else, baby, things wouldn't be this way. We would still be wrapped up in each other's arms and making sparkly plans to be together forever. It could have been US. We just weren't ready. I don't care how much you put this on me. In a way, you are probably right. I couldn't deal with all the bullshit. I have enough of my own...
Don't get me wrong, even with all of these feelings, I cannot stand the thought of us getting back together. Not after what has happened, no. That thought makes me feel uneasy. I can't help but think about the good times even when they are tainted with harsh words and horrible actions. My mind can't stop wandering to the memories. The taste of your lips on mine. The sound of your voice whispering in my ear. The almost perfect feeling of you wrapping your arms around me... Just almost perfect. There was always a little something. Something standing in between us. Something neither of us could talk about.
I'm out of my mind, but you are stuck inside. Please, get out.

~miss Rae