Disclaimer

This is my voice, my story, my opinions, my beliefs...

"If they love your work that is always great. If they despise it, it is also a compliment... At least they felt something! Make them feel it." ~Anna Jorgenson

Monday, October 31, 2011

numb.

World:
The ride is over. Please get off.
I don't know what to do.
I wanted so badly for everything to be okay for just a minute. Is that too much to ask? Yes. 
I gave love a chance. It was amazing until it hurt.
Sometimes, it doesn't matter how much you love something. It doesn't matter how much work you put forth, or how much you sacrifice... Sometimes when all you want is to be happy forever, forever says "SCREW YOU! I don't care how much you love him. I don't care how much it hurts. You aren't getting it. End of discussion." 
Sometimes, you have to take care of yourself. You can't take care of another person if you can't even take care of yourself. It's hard to lift yourself up when at the same time, everything else is trying to pull you under. It's exhausting. I am exhausted.
I am mad.
I am sad. 
I am confused. 
I am awake.
Can I go back to sleep now?

Friday, October 28, 2011

She lives again!

Hello world. I'm back.
I left here for a bit, mostly because I started school and got out of the habit... But I would just like to say that I have missed you so much! Missed writing, anyway. Not exactly sure if anyone actually reads this.
So right at this moment, I am making brown rice. Hopefully it turns out okay, because if not, this starving college student is going to be a little bit starving-errr!
I'm pretty stoked about this brown rice thing. approximately 26 minutes to go!
So, World, I know how anxious you have been to hear a story. (pretend to be anxious)
Once upon a time, this one girl fell in love with a boy whom we will call Pablo. Yes this is a story about me, and no, the boy's name isn't actually Pablo. But it sounds nice, right?
Well, Pablo was great. and they were happy. Until one day, Pablo messed up. BIG TIME.
But the girl was in love with him. Even though he liked Sci-Fi. Even though he was kind of socially weird. And even though he tended to dig his holes very very deep and was difficult to deal with like a small ginger child who won't stop asking for candy... He loved her. He showed it. Aaaand... He was an amazing kisser.
So she decided to give him one more chance to prove that he can be a man. But she was not going to just dive back into a relationship with him and risk getting re-broken...
As for now, my zebra duct taping skills are fast at work, holding my heart and car window together...
All my love! to You and yours.
~miss Rae

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Which way?

I often think that I know what I'm doing. Mostly because, as a 19 year old girl, I am still legally a teenager and am therefore required to think I know everything. Which obviously, I do.
As the months go, though, I get closer and closer to 20. I think my knowledge is dwindling. I don't know where to go from here.

~miss rae