This is my voice, my story, my opinions, my beliefs...

"If they love your work that is always great. If they despise it, it is also a compliment... At least they felt something! Make them feel it." ~Anna Jorgenson

Monday, February 6, 2012

thoughts in no particular order.

Well, for starters, I have some great news!
I got a JOB!!!!
                                                             All I have to say about this news is... Finally! Right?

old me.

REAL me.

In other news... Life is pretty perfect right now. At least, when I don't think too hard about it. Does that make sense? For example, if I weren't myself and I met myself at work or a party or... whatever, I would think to myself, This girl really has it all together. She is just doing totally great! Get it? Sometimes, it is pretty liberating to think like that. It's like a mini confidence booster. Healthy, too! Everyone should take a good at themselves every once in a while. Do a little evaluating? Ask yourself, "How do I feel about myself and my doings with others?" If that all checks out, then ask yourself this one: "How am I presenting myself to the world?" When that is good too, I feel like I can stand a little taller.
"Fake it until you make it." ~Jody Rich

When I was in high school, I found myself in a pretty dark place. I wasn't doing terrible things, or even bad things, really. In fact, I was trying to be as good as I could. Good enough to meet the approval of others. The only problem with that is, it wasn't ME. I wasn't feeding my own soul because I was too busy trying to bury my feelings, my thoughts, my beliefs... It's really important to be true to yourself. Until I realized that, I was so depressed. One of the worst feelings I have ever felt... Its not how I always imagined it would be when people would talk about it. I didn't feel sad. I didn't feel anger... I didn't feel much of anything. It was lonely. I like to feel.

... I solomly swear that what I am about to say is absolute truth. It has taken me an hour and a half to write this far. I keep getting distracted. Dazing off into a world of thoughts, in no particular order. That is the tricky thing about writing. I like to write, so I consider myself a writer of sorts. Well, the mind of a writer, like any artist, travels at about a million miles a minute. I get so many ideas. So many thoughts, stories, pictures I want to paint, words... Endless words. I am lucky if I get all of those things to form a long enough thought to make sense of it all, let alone write it all down.

And so it is.

~miss Rae

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