It hurts.

Today I found out that one of my dearest friends committed suicide. We danced together in high school, along with just being really great friends. So many happy memories. I will love you forever.

Also today, my Grandpa, Denis Johnson, passed away. He has been sick for quite some time. My grandmother called everyone to tell us that if we wanted one last goodbye, today was the day. So we went to Springdale. 

At around 6 PM, he went home.

I know that he is no longer in pain. He is now where he has been wanting to go. I know he will watch over the family and everyone he ever met. Most of all, I know he will be there waiting for my mom when it is her turn.

Today has truly been the worst day of my life so far. I feel heartache for Ahia's family. I feel sad for my own family. 

But they are home. No longer hurting. Happy.

It hurts. It hurts really really bad.

Grandpa and Grandma. 50th wedding anniversary cruise.

Denis & Pearl and their beautiful family.
Stan, Denise, Annette, Grandma, Grandpa, Marie (my mom), Lynnett, Joe

    "Angel"

Spend all your time waiting

For that second chance

For a break that would make it okay

There’s always one reason

To feel not good enough

And it’s hard at the end of the day

I need some distraction

Oh beautiful release

Memory seeps from my veins

Let me be empty

And weightless and maybe

I’ll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an angel

Fly away from here

From this dark cold hotel room

And the endlessness that you fear

You are pulled from the wreckage

Of your silent reverie

You’re in the arms of the angel

May you find some comfort there

So tired of the straight line

And everywhere you turn

There’s vultures and thieves at your back

And the storm keeps on twisting

You keep on building the lie

That you make up for all that you lack

It don’t make no difference

Escaping one last time

It’s easier to believe in this sweet madness oh

This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

In the arms of an angel

Fly away from here

From this dark cold hotel room

And the endlessness that you fear

You are pulled from the wreckage

Of your silent reverie

You’re in the arms of the angel

May you find some comfort there

You’re in the arms of the angel

May you find some comfort here

-Sarah McLachlan

Ahia Nkwocha <3

~miss Rae