This is my voice, my story, my opinions, my beliefs...

"If they love your work that is always great. If they despise it, it is also a compliment... At least they felt something! Make them feel it." ~Anna Jorgenson

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

take a step back

Have you ever been in trouble? Have you ever been so scared about where you are headed that all you can think to do is grip the arm rests, close your eyes, and just take the ride to see what happens? 
      I have.
I am sitting in the presence of two of my best friends in the world. We haven't known each other for very long. In fact, when we all came together and found each other, we were all complete strangers. The crazy thing about life is that the friends you work the hardest for are never around for very long. Best friends somehow just become present. Always. Its a beautifully twisted thing, is it not?
Sometimes its good to get into trouble. It feels dangerous. It is inky. It is exciting. A real thrill. For those of you who do not know, a thrill is one of the most liberating feelings a person can experience. Although, thrills come in all shapes and sizes. For some, a walk to the mail box does it. it happens. For others a crazy, loop filled, make-you-scream roller coaster is what gets them going. That's just it, though, right?
Whatever gets you going.
I have found that living on the edge is a scenic way to go. You can see where you are going, no buildings to block your view. You can see the sky above, earth and air split below, you have options to the left and endless, incredible, unexplored adventure to the right. In my case at least. My edge, I imagine, finds me with my right to the outside. It protects my heart from unexpected blows from what the ever-changing edge brings. A pattern in my life. Always trying to protect that crazy, taped up heart. 
The thing about messing with trouble is eventually it catches up to you. Eventually, you get caught. At least a little bit. A little bit you say? Well, kids, there is always a bright side if you look for one. There has to be. It's the rules! You know, if there is good, there is bad. If there is God, there is Satan. If there is Sun, there is Rain. Rich and poor. Cold and hot. You get it. moving on. Needless to say, lemonade is one of my favorite drinks. Which is appropriately convenient for a girl who gets handed a lot of lemons.
Speaking of lemons, ALLEGEDLY, chocolate cake shots are a mighty fine idea. According to a panel of responsible adults ages 21 and up, of course. How do you do it right? ALLEGEDLY, you take a small slice of lemon and put some sugar on it. Set that aside. Then, get some SKYY vodka... (well I suppose any vodka would do. what do I know?) mix it with the chocolate liquore. Frangelica, I believe.  A little bit goes a long way. pour both of those into a shot class. Now you are ready for a treat! Take the previously sugared lemon wedge and bite it :) don't be scared, just do it. THEN! QUICK! Take the shot. And voi la! Liquid cake that eventually makes you drunk. Now, take a breather, and repeat until desired results are obtained. It really is quite tastey... ALLEGEDLY! 
I guess I got a little distracted.
Sometimes, great minds think alike. Like tonight, when my friends and I were writing back and forth to each other on none other than, you guessed it, facebook. Things were getting a little bit poetic and a lot a bit deep. It was kind of therapeutic and pretty impressive. Take a gander. 

We are going to be famous. 
We'll start with Blue. I call him lil' bro Blue.
"you say dueces, i say triplets. they niplets, they cold. we bold. i said it one time, i'll do it thrice times. cuzz we ain't scared, we impared, ballin in the beach sand, ohh no, here comes the rain, man. we stand still cause he know the deal. yeahh, he'll try to drill, but we all know it's juss for the thrill. now we behind the wheel, drivers seat in this snitch. were sewer rich, were ballin so throw me the pitch, take the bat to the ball, down the hall, it's rainin, we dancin, they prancin, cause they know we ain't romancin. i feel like shakespeare, writin these lyrics here, but we ball hard, cause nobody comes near." ~Dakota Blue
Followed by me. They call me Juicy J...
"when your dancing in a rain, the pain isn't the same. it gets a little numb, put your index to your thumb and riide it low and slow. 'head down, knees closed, eyes forward.' its all in the life. all in the movement. in every breath of air i find something else. not just life but a song. clearin that. drawing circles that turn into eyes. staring right through this skin. wearing a mask with a smile so big. its hiding all those secrets. you can't take it. you couldn't even pretend. because all those people who smile back are just players in this game." ~Josie Rae
and then Charzard said...
"Damnnn you guys just shit on me double! How they gonna play us like this? The devil lurks around lunch time tomorrow and angels will fall from the sky. Were pushing our limits and reaching out for help but with no where to turn, were lost in the path of the least resistance and selling our souls cheap. Were not trying to go to the dark side but sometimes you do what you do. Its slamming hard tomorrow and maybe for the next few weeks, we have to prepare. NOW. Before we are completely taken over by the fame, money and power. In the end you have to love yourself, and like you for you. Otherwise you will never come back to planet earth and hopefully your soul will find the right direction. For now the willows haunt the future and the brook will be crumbling down into a never ending spiral. We can do it, we just have to believe in ourselves" ~Charlie Patrick

words have billions of meanings.

ME:lovin on this photograph lil bro blue 
BLUE:you know im your big bro blue, lookin out for the rain, mayne, cause we know it's in our brain. So tell me juicy, why are we so flyy, in the freezing cold. oh yeahhh, I forgot...we bold.
ME: don't trip blue. your my big lil B. you gots the heights, i gots the wise. this is my demise. my honor. with us it's never borin. we'll be sellin it in the mornin.
BLUE:comin up from the gutters, one o'clock rolls around, close all the shutters. it's goin down, whether you like it or not, you better replace that frown. I'm your big lil B, it'll never be juss a story, it'll ride dirty, right next to you like it's 3:30. you feel me juicy? and i meant A.M. it's gonna haunt, and it's gonna taunt. But we'll look back with a smile, even when were all old and scenile. most people become dried up like a lake, a prune, but we'll be in the sand doons, maybe in the jungle, baboons. These rhymes are no mistake, at one point it was a heartache. breathe, take it in, soak it up, let the heat drain all sin. Under the wings of this pheonix, birds, their watchin. soaring in the skyy, but riddle me this one thing cause i really wanna know why. I poor it out, take it in but in the end it always seems to win. down the drains, it IS in my brain. the nucleus, alpha, up the tubes to the sky, and ill make it rain on em, to the brain... and then you can take this riddle, but it might become brittle. trust, it's built into the game and if your tryin to say sain, best get used to the rain.
ME:  baboons lil' B? you are monkeying my mind. they say get to your grind. but my grinds been grinding me! what more can i do? what more can i say? to make all of everyone's hurt melt away... i don't know the answer to that one B. But I guess i'm about to find out. you'll see.
BLUE:In the future juicy, we'll see. it'll come down like poseidon in the middle of the ocean, poring rain, we'll all be dancing on titanic, so don't freight, there's no need to paniccc. :)
ME:  good deal.. and our words, the ones by lil B and Juicy? boy they are ill. soon our minds will be free as the sea.
Well I guess I lost focus on exactly what I began to write about, today. But maybe the moral is this: No matter how bad things get, they can always get much worse... Just kidding. Like, that is true, but eventually things will get better. Someone, somewhere will pull through and be able to show you an option that you didn't even know you had. A way out. A get out of hell free card. 
~miss Rae

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